circles

originally composed 10 august 2008

it's odd how my last year at university has ended so similarly to my first. i'm back in golders green/brent cross with no money, no job and friends flung across the globe seemingly having a thousand times more fun than me.

ok so i'm a much more together person nowadays with a much better outlook on life. i know that everything works out for the best in the end and not to hold onto or rail against things i can't do anything about... but i'm still a bit worried that i'll never quite get a grip on life - that it'll always be slightly too far out of my control to let me relax entirely...

in short - i don't think i'm really ready for the responsibilities of adulthood. taxes, budgets, full-time employment: all the serious stuff that no one ever really warns you about but that comes and smacks you in the face pretty damn hard right at the least convenient moment...

and the bureaucracy! bloody hell! how many forms can i fill in?! and no, i don't have a passport - therefore no wages, no bank account, no house... all because i don't think i'll be leaving the country any time soon!

in these days of political upheaval, social unrest, and administrative megalomania there seems to be no place for the people who just want to have fun. just live life how it should be lived - happily.

this is a problem.

nearly everything costs something. charities need money. to help people not die. that costs money. helping people not die costs money. there is a price on life. getting away from the city to see real nature and life costs quite a lot of money too. seeing the horizon costs money.

people don't talk to each other. you can sit in a train or bus surrounded by so many other bored people who would probably quite like a chat and yet everyone sits silently. no one smiles in the streets. no one wishes each other a good day. no one shares the joke they just made up or their ideas or hypotheses or their stories.

and nobody looks up. yeah people look up at the traffic lights or at the signs in piccadilly or at edinburgh's castle or the CN tower. but look further. see the world you live in. look at the roofs of buildings. look higher and see the trees the clouds the sun the stars.
climb.
get higher and see how your perspective changes. go to the top floor of the building you're in and see the streets around you. see the shapes they make.
find the connections.
find people you want to watch and watch them until you can't any more.
know your surroundings and know the people who surround you.
find the details. find the railing that doesn't match the others, and the window that's a little smaller than the rest. see the two people walking right by each other wearing the same outfit. notice their reaction. notice your reaction.
find shapes. find the four people standing in the corners of a perfect imaginary square. find the triangles all over the sky. go and make shapes. go find a space and spin in circles. take a friend. take a hundred!
find the things in your world that make you smile and find them often. look for them. make them happen. if you don't then who will? wake up and wake others up too. take them by the hand and show them what you see. show them your world and then ask to see theirs.

we live in an incredible world and hardly anyone seems to notice or even care any more. change this.

there is more to life than existence.

buenavibra

mikeyb x